The best i'm doing,

Change is constant. No doubt about that. I don't know if it's coincidental or are Sagittarius born to be this way; never really follow their set of goals. Their set of goals change as time pass. Nothing wrong with that right? The way i feel changes; i'm not exactly sure if it has got to do with mood swings. People have that at times which sucks at times. Being straightforward here.

I somehow got used to being compared with my younger sister by my grandparents. So again here, i'm unsure if its the act of old aged people or is it really the fact that my younger sister is so much better than me? When both of us are home, i will always here this (i translate it to English alright), "Ya.. can you help?" Help in a lot of things. My name will only be heard if she's not around which is like once in a blue moon. Even so, they will find fault saying i'm doing it incorrectly when i know i did exactly like how my younger sister do for them. You know, favoritism? Yeah, that's what i can say.

I can sense that they don't like it when i'm going out other than going to school and driving practicals. I got life. I'm almost 19 and soon i won't be called a teenager, people will say i'm a young adult. Life's short, i got family, friends and boyfriend to 'breakeven' my time. Everyone has 24 hours daily. It's not easy making time for everyone and this makes it tougher with having goals and dreams that i want to achieve. I admit, i rarely help out with household chores and cooking nowadays but i never fail to make an effort to keep the conversation between family going.

I don't know what my grandparents wants exactly from me but for sure, they think that my younger sister can replace my position as the eldest daughter in the family and also the 3rd but the eldest granddaughter to their eyes. Saddening but i can't do or say much. Life's got to move on.

It's not easy communicating with people of older generation and trying to make them understand the current life of young people. I don't know if it's my fault or are they just behind time. But i know, i feel trapped whenever i'm home and i want to break free from whatever that i'm facing. Life's hard.

Whatever it is, i know i did my part and i know i'm doing and still doing my best.